cold dark hatred creeps through the night
peering through your soul with eyes of fire
there is no purity in the flames of this hell
all that is said will be revealed to those that listen

when the night grows cold and the air is stiff
you wonder prey tell who will hear you scream
it cuts through the temped night like a razor
and all you can do is wait for it all to disappear

hearts filled with love grow tired quickly
as the pain of reality flows through your veins
shards of glass reflect the pain of what's to come
as you take a piece and open your reality

the open gash reveals the truth to you
the blood spews with all that is good and bad
you try to find a way to hide the pain of it all
the fluid collects at the base of your empty soul

as you start to grow weak from all that is seen
you turn and search for help in a friend
but your friend is long gone from reality
and you are left to hope that it will all go away

your screams slice through the night air
with a sense of innocence in the color of gray
as you lie down to await the grip of death
you recapture all of which will soon be gone

once distant memories come back to haunt you
and your breath slows as the sky darkens
what awaits you on the other side i do not know
but you will soon see if it was all worth it

all at once you realize that you didn't hold the shard
amidst all the confusion a familiar figure appears
it's a form that we've all seen, but never distinguished
it is that which is hatred who now opens your eyes

As the clock slowly ticks away each day
My thoughts of you come less and less
The dreams of meeting you don't come as often
And the hope for something begins to fade

I sit and wonder if I really know you at all
The idea that it's all desperation floods my head
Visions of seeing you walking into my arms
Become nothing more then images seen on TV

I sit and ponder all of the late night talks
Of how we would innocently flirt with each other
Talks about kissing and cuddling
Have now become more fantasy then reality

But yet I still think from time to time
If all that we've shared could possibly be real
What it would be like to experience it all
But for now I will search for whatever it is that I'm looking for

Upon darkness, I often sit up and ponder my existence. I often wonder why I am here, am I even supposed to be? What is my purpose for being here, if that is my reason for existence? What is love? Will I ever know it, have I already known it but been too senile to have comprehended it? Did I choose this being and that path on which it would take a long time before my memory came to be? Would I ever know the answers to these questions?

I would lay awake, in my bedroom late at night through light break and wait. Wait for answers, wait for death, wait for life, love, happiness, news of what would come of these immortally dark days. Was I being punished? Was I to be enjoying what was happening? Or was it all a figment of my imagination? Would I soon wake up and realize that I knew what love was and I was bathing in it and had it in its purest form? The next time I opened my eyes, would everything focus and all of the evils that I had known come into the light of the answer that I wanted to see? Or maybe all of the pain, hurt, sorrow and hatred were the many pieces to the puzzle of life. And when the puzzle was complete and the game was over, the component to unlock the exit to bliss would be missing. I would have to reset it and do it all over again.

I thought I knew what love was. What holding someone in your arms for all eternity felt like. What it smelled like on your skin. And what "I love you" sounded like when it echoed through out your heart. But I didn't know what love was, I had only felt lust for many and not even that for others. I didn't know what it felt like to be held for even one day, let alone to be able to comprehend that heavenly feeling for eternity. My sense of smell is contaminated with the putrid stench of rejection and lies. The only thing that echoed in my heart were the tear drops of pain that many had left me with.

Should I find the power button and escape this charade of a game before I reach the end? Should I let the tears flow from my heart along with the blood that boiled in passion for the many men that had promised me the world? Should I put away this dagger of hate before it expels the love that may still exist within me? Answer me!